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The Story: Giving birth to Me

**On this day, the 3rd anniversary of leaving the hospital with my son, I give you my story. Not the story of his birth but the story of my birth. _

I wish I would have studied natural birth before my last child. He was born within 20 minutes of hitting the hospital doors, while I screamed “somebody help me” (aka GIVE ME DRUGS). The sack never burst, the doctor walked in, sat down, broke my water, I felt better for half a second then the contraction and tada! baby boy. I never planned on a “natural” or “drug free birth”, I had planned quite the opposite.

Earlier that morning at 3:33 am (exact time) I had my first contraction I had refused to believe I was in labor and ignored it. How did I ignore it? My previous 2 births were induced and it didn’t hurt enough or last long enough to be real labor, so I thought. A little over an hour later the pain slowly subsided, what I now know is a very normal part of labor, and I went to sleep.

I was awoken in eminence pain about an hour later. I moved as quickly as I could, I thought I had to go to the bathroom, I thought. I couldn’t go… I tried to call for My husband, but there was no voice, I didn’t want to scream and wake my older child, so I kicked the wall. Then I was sick. John was quickly on the phone with the hospital and they asked to speak with me when he said “she can’t speak” they told him to come in quickly. My sister got there during the longest 10 minutes of my life, and we left her standing in the front yard holding a car seat crying. Apparently it is really hard as a sister to see your little sister in pain, poor thing.

If I had the confidence I have now. If I had read everything I have read about natural birth. If I had spoken to the many proponents of natural birth I have met since then. I think that I wouldn’t have panicked when I realized I was in labor, I would have gather my strength and reminded myself “you were made for this”. Every part of my body and soul wanted to push standing there leaning against the bathroom wall unable to speak. I would have crawled into the garden tub and birthed my baby.

IF I hadn’t heard all my life I had to have a hospital. If I had gone to the Hospital at 4:03 am after 30 min of 30 second contractions at 5 minutes apart I would have had an epidural and a medicated birth. I would have had my mother by my side with my husband. After my birth experience with my son and my journey since I realized that my body was not and is not broken. Thank you God.

Ladies we can change the world one birth at a time. One birth changed my whole life. I’m thankful for each of my births. They each gave birth to me. They have given me the insight to be a better person, mother, and with my sons birth the confidence that has always been missing.

It is so powerful to know I slept through part of my labor with no medication or pain, the mind is a crazy amazing place.



About Blessed Are The Mothers

My name is Lisa Horstkamp and I am a private practice lactation counselor and a Birth and bereavement Doula. I became a certified doula with stillbirthday as of October 2015. I am a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC) with The Healthy Children Project of April 2015. CLC Scope of practice: SBD Doula Principles of Service (Scope) I'm a southern woman born and bred. I am raising my "Southern Bell" and "bubba" the way I see fit. I started out breastfeeding my oldest but without good support I ended up using formula and not meeting my breastfeeding goal. I breastfed my youngest for 33 months, until he no longer requested, far out reaching my original goal of 6 months. It would not have been possible without the abundant support from my IBCLC and other breastfeeding moms in the support group at our local hospital. I'm on path to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in the next few years and looking forward to increasing support for my area.

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